FOR EVERY OUTCOME YOU DESIRE, THERE MUST BE AN INPUT DISCIPLINE FOR IT TO BECOME A REALITY.
Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. James 2:17-18 NIV
OUTWARD DISCIPLINES
“When we live outside of healthy community, we not only lose others. We lose ourselves...Who we understand ourselves to be is dramatically affected for better or worse by those we hold closest to us. We only truly come to know ourselves in the context of others. The more isolated and disconnected we are, the more shattered and distorted our self-identity. We are not healthy when we are alone. We find ourselves as we connect to others.” Erwin McManus
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18 NLT
Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. Romans 12:4-5 NLT
…For he holds the whole body together with its joints and ligaments, and it grows as God nourishes it. Colossians 2:19 NLT
1. AUTHENTICITY
But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. Romans 5:8 NLT
You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. This is my command: Love each other. John 15:16-17 NLT
QUIT DISQUALIFYING YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU COMPARE YOUR WEAKNESSES TO OTHERS STRENGTHS
A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. 1 Corinthians 12:7;22-26 NLT
YOU MUST DISCOVER WHO YOU ARE BEFORE YOU CAN EVER DISCOVER WHAT YOU ARE CREATED TO DO.
Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. Romans 12:3 NLT
2. SUBMISSION
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19
HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE.
THE SOLUTION ALWAYS BEGINS WITH UNDERSTANDING
'For I wrote to you with many tears out of an extremely troubled and anguished heart — not to cause you pain, but that you should know the abundant love I have for you. ' 2 Corinthians 2:4 CSB
Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. Galatians 6:1-3 NLT
3. SERVICE
After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, “Do you understand what I was doing? You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow...Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them.' John 13:12-17 NLT
WHAT WE DO IN OUR PRIVATE TIMES IMPACTS HOW WE WILL BE IN OUR PUBLIC TIMES
Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 1 John 4:7-8 NLT
God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. 1 John 4:9-10 NLT
Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. 1 John 4:11-12 NLT
FOR EVERY OUTCOME YOU DESIRE, THERE MUST BE AN INPUT DISCIPLINE FOR IT TO BECOME A REALITY.
Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. James 2:17-18 NIV
You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12 NLT
So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. 1 Corinthians 9:26-27 NLT
At this time Aramean raiders had invaded the land of Israel, and among their captives was a young girl who had been given to Naaman’s wife as a maid. One day the girl said to her mistress, “I wish my master would go to see the prophet in Samaria. He would heal him of his leprosy.” 2 Kings 5:2-3 NLT
So Naaman told the king what the young girl from Israel had said. “Go and visit the prophet,” the king of Aram told him. “I will send a letter of introduction for you to take to the king of Israel.” So Naaman started out, carrying as gifts 750 pounds of silver, 150 pounds of gold, and ten sets of clothing. The letter to the king of Israel said: “With this letter I present my servant Naaman. I want you to heal him of his leprosy.” When the king of Israel read the letter, he tore his clothes in dismay and said, “Am I God, that I can give life and take it away? Why is this man asking me to heal someone with leprosy? I can see that he’s just trying to pick a fight with me.” 2 Kings 5:4-7 NLT
But when Elisha, the man of God, heard that the king of Israel had torn his clothes in dismay, he sent this message to him: “Why are you so upset? Send Naaman to me, and he will learn that there is a true prophet here in Israel.” So Naaman went with his horses and chariots and waited at the door of Elisha’s house. But Elisha sent a messenger out to him with this message: “Go and wash yourself seven times in the Jordan River. Then your skin will be restored, and you will be healed of your leprosy.” But Naaman became angry and stalked away. “I thought he would certainly come out to meet me!” he said. “I expected him to wave his hand over the leprosy and call on the name of the Lord his God and heal me! Aren’t the rivers of Damascus, the Abana and the Pharpar, better than any of the rivers of Israel? Why shouldn’t I wash in them and be healed?” So Naaman turned and went away in a rage. 2 Kings 5:8-12 NLT
But his officers tried to reason with him and said, “Sir, if the prophet had told you to do something very difficult, wouldn’t you have done it? So you should certainly obey him when he says simply, ‘Go and wash and be cured!’” So Naaman went down to the Jordan River and dipped himself seven times, as the man of God had instructed him. And his skin became as healthy as the skin of a young child, and he was healed! 2 Kings 5:13-14 NLT
GREAT OPPORTUNITIES OFTEN DISGUISE THEMSELVES IN SMALL TASKS.
INWARD DISCIPLINES
1. MEDITATION
Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. Joshua 1:7-8 NLT
2. STUDY
And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul’s message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth. As a result, many Jews believed, as did many of the prominent Greek women and men. Acts 17:11-12 NLT
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Proverbs 27:17 NLT
3. PRAYER
Pray like this: Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one. Matthew 6:9-13 NLT
ADORATION AND WORSHIP
CONFESSION AND TRANSFORMATION
GOD’S KINGDOM AND GOD'S AGENDA
MY AGENDA AND REQUESTS
4. FASTING
He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30 ESV
…not my will, but yours be done. Luke 22:42 NIV
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33 NLT
My child, listen to what I say, and treasure my commands. Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God. Proverbs 2:1-5 NLT
Godly Wisdom
You Are What You Eat
“Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are…” – Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future”
“You are the average of the 10 people you spend the most time with”
“Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.” Proverbs 13:20 MSG
“Well, I am the good influence in our friend group!”
“…Bad company corrupts good character” 1 Corinthians 15:33 NIV
If you stay in an unhealthy relationship long enough it will eventually change you
Inspect
Is walking in my God given calling worth a temporary discomfort?
Is passive comfort worth giving up your God given calling?
Can you share your heart with them?
Can you communicate your joys with them?
Can you communicate your sorrows with them?
Can you share frustrations with them?
Can you share victories with them?
Can you share prayer requests with them?
Do they pray with you or for you?
Do they lift you up or tear you down?
Do they encourage you?
Do they add value to you?
Do they care about your spouse/family?
Healthy Boundaries
Determine who you are giving permission to have an influence in your life
“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety” Proverbs 11:14 NKJV
“…Bad company corrupts good character” 1 Corinthians 15:33 NIV
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 27:17
“Friends can destroy one another, but a loving friend can stick closer than family” Proverbs 18:24 GW
TAKE HOME:
Is this helping or hurting me walk in my God given calling?
“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change” – Jim Rohn
God gave me conviction
“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth.” John 14:16-17 NLT
LifeGroups
"There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing." – Aristotle
“I will forgive their wrongdoing, and I will never again remember their sins” Hebrews 8:12 CSB
My child, listen to what I say, and treasure my commands. Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God. Proverbs 2:1-5 NLT
ANYTHING OR ANYONE DIFFERENT CAN BE DIFFICULT
Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. 2 Timothy 2:23-24 NLT
D. I. R. T.
DON’T IGNORE RELATIONAL TENSION
GUARD RAILS OF COMMUNICATION
1. REMAIN CALM AND GENTLE
A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. Proverbs 15:1 NLT
People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness. Proverbs 14:29 NLT
Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back. Proverbs 29:11 NLT
Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool. Ecclesiastes 7:9 NLT
Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city. Proverbs 16:32 NLT
2. COMMUNICATE THE INFORMATION TRUTHFULLY AND ACCURATELY
The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness. Proverbs 15:2 NLT
The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth. Proverbs 12:22 NLT
Then keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies! Psalms 34:13 NLT
Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed. Proverbs 12:19 NLT
Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Colossians 3:9 NLT
Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. Ephesians 4:15,25 NLT
3. REMEMBER GOD IS THE ULTIMATE JUDGE
The Lord is watching everywhere, keeping his eye on both the evil and the good. Proverbs 15:3 NLT
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 NIV
SOMEONE ELSE’S SIN IS NEVER A JUSTIFICATION FOR YOU TO SIN.
Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord’s help, they will stand and receive his approval. So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall. So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up. Romans 14:4,10,12-13,19 NLT
4. ATTACK THE PROBLEM NOT THE PERSON
The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:4 NIV
BLAMING PREVENTS PROGRESS
But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. Don’t lie to each other… Colossians 3:8-9 NLT
5. STAY TEACHABLE
Only a fool despises a parent’s discipline; whoever learns from correction is wise. Proverbs 15:5 NLT
To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction. Proverbs 12:1 NLT
DON’T TRADE AWAY YOUR INTEGRITY FOR JUSTIFICATION
“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. Matthew 7:3;5 NLT
S.T.A.T.E YOUR FEELINGS
1. Share your facts (without interpretation)
2. Tell your story (explain your conclusions)
3. Ask questions instead of starting with accusations
4. Talk tentatively (remember you are sharing perspective)
5. Encourage testing (invite opposing views)
FOCUS ON RESTORATION NOT PERFECTION
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Matthew 5:9 NIV
IT IS ALWAYS MORE REWARDING TO RESOLVE THE CONFLICT THAN TO DISSOLVE THE RELATIONSHIP.