So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply”…Genesis 1:27-28 NLT
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28 NLT
NEEDS TO BE MET BY MOTHERS
Safety
Nurture
Basic Trust
Belonging and Invitation
Someone to Love
“Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!” Isaiah 49:15 NLT
NEEDS TO BE MET BY FATHERS
Unconditional, expressed love
Security and Comfort
Praise and Affirmation
Provision
Purpose in Life
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15 NLT
WE LET THE BIBLE LEAD & GUIDE US, NOT OUR EMOTIONS AND EXPERIENCES.
Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. Psalms 119:105 NLT
WHAT IS THE BIBLICAL APPROACH TO RAISING KIDS?
1. WE MUST TEACH OUR KIDS CHRIST-LOVE OVER SELF-LOVE
The human heart is the most deceitful of all things… Jeremiah 17:9 NLT
WE TEACH OUR KIDS THAT CHRIST’S LOVE IS A SACRIFICIAL LOVE
For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:28 NLT
'There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13 NLT
2. WE MUST TEACH OUR KIDS GODLY PRIORITIES
“Get out of here, Satan,” Jesus told him. “For the Scriptures say, ‘You must worship the Lord your God and serve only him.’” Matthew 4:10 NLT
“ the only hope of a decreasing self is an increasing Christ.” F.B. Meyer
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40 NLT
3. WE MUST TEACH OUR KIDS THAT GODLY DISCIPLINE IS LOVE
'Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline [correction administered with godly wisdom and lovingkindness] will remove it far from him. Proverbs 22:15 AMP
THE DISCIPLINE OF GODLY PARENTS FOCUSES ON THE HEART, NOT JUST THE RULES.
'And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the Lord ’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” Hebrews 12:5-6 NLT
For the wages of sin is death… Romans 6:23 NLT
In parenting More is caught than taught.
1. Parents are responsible for helping their teen build a solid FOUNDATION.
How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. 10 With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! 11 I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:9-11 (ESV)
2. With a solid foundation, parents guide teens to discover their IDENTITY in Christ.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 NIV
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked Jeremiah 17:9 KJV
3. Teens need more than just their parents, they need Godly MENTORS
One of the biggest factors to shape your identity is the voices you’re allowing to speak into you life.
TEENAGERS NEED SPIRITUAL MENTORS LIKE:
4. Teens need to explore their identity in Christ and find PURPOSE in the context of spiritual mentors.
5. Teens need to see and experience God’s GRACE through you.
All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 2 Timothy 3:16 NLT
3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. Romans 5:3-4 NLT
'If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 NLT
If you want to change the culture in your home, you have to change the way you communicate.
For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. Matthew 12:34 NLT
'The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. Proverbs 18:21 NLT
Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. James 3:2 NLT
3 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT OUR WORDS/TONGUES
1. THE TONGUE IS SMALL BUT POWERFUL
'We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches….
James 3:3-5 NLT
2. THE TONGUE IS DIRECTIONAL
And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. James 3:4 NLT
3. THE TONGUE HAS A QUICK IMPACT
'In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. James 3:5 NLT
HOW DO YOU COMMUNICATE IN A HEALTHY WAY?
You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19 NLT
A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent. Proverbs 17:27-28 NLT
T – is it True?
H – is it Helpful?
I – is it Inspiring?
N – is it Necessary?
K – is it Kind?
Take control of what I say, O LORD, and guard my lips. Psalms 141:3 NLT
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5 NLT
'Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:23-24 NLT
FORGIVENESS IS NOT…
MAKING EXCUSES FOR WHAT HAS HAPPENED
SOMETHING THE OTHER PERSON EARNS OR DESERVES
FORGETTING OR AVOIDING
INSTANT RESTORATION OF TRUST.
FORGIVENESS is the conscious choice to give up your right to make the other person pay because you trust God to make things right.
HOW DOES FORGIVENESS WORK IN A GODLY WAY?
1. We recognize forgiveness is a conviction, not a circumstance.
So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” Luke 17:3-4 NLT
2. We understand why forgiveness is so difficult.
REQUIRES EMOTIONAL ENERGY
REQUIRES UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS AND RISKY OUTCOMES
IT FEELS UNNATURAL
TAKES AWAY PERCEPTION OF CONTROL
3. WE FOCUS ONLY ON WHAT WE CAN CONTROL
'Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 NLT
SO WHAT CAN I CONTROL?
1. PRAY FOR GODS HELP
So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view…. 2 Corinthians 5:16 NLT
2. PRAY FOR THEM
You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! Matthew 5:43-44 NLT
3. DO THE OPPOSITE
Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the lord. Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. Romans 12:17-21 NLT
But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. Romans 5:8 NLT
The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. John 10:10 NLT
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12 NLT
'For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33 NLT
CONNECTING WITH EACH OTHER
WHAT ARE THE THREE PRACTICAL WAYS TO CONNECT WITH MY HUSBAND
1. HAVE FUN WITH ME
“Come, my love, let us go out to the fields and spend the night among the wildflowers.” Song of Solomon 7:11 NLT
2. BE INTIMATE WITH ME
“Come, my love, let us go out to the fields and spend the night among the wildflowers. Let us get up early and go to the vineyards to see if the grapevines have budded, if the blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates have bloomed. There I will give you my love.” Song of Solomon 7:11-12 NLT
“Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.” Proverbs 5:18-19 NLT
3. RESPECT ME
…and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 NLT
WHAT ARE THE THREE PRACTICAL WAYS TO CONNECT WITH MY WIFE
1. GIVE ME NONSEXUAL ATTENTION
You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19 NLT
To answer before listening— that is folly and shame. Proverbs 18:13 NIV
2. AFFIRM ME
How beautiful are your sandaled feet, O queenly maiden. Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a skilled craftsman. Your navel is perfectly formed like a goblet filled with mixed wine. Between your thighs lies a mound of wheat bordered with lilies. Your breasts are like two fawns, twin fawns of a gazelle. Your neck is as beautiful as an ivory tower. Your eyes are like the sparkling pools in Heshbon. Song of Solomon 7:1-4 NLT
'When a man finds a wife, he has found a treasure! For she is the gift of God to bring him joy and pleasure. Proverbs 18:22 TPT
WHAT YOU FOCUS ON YOU BECOME PASSIONATE ABOUT!
3. BE THE SPIRITUAL LEADER IN OUR HOME.
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. Ephesians 5:25-28 NLT
HOW DO WE GROW CLOSER TO EACH OTHER?
“The most important commandment is this…you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” Mark 12:29-30 NLT
YOU GROW CLOSER TO EACH OTHER WHEN YOU GROW CLOSER TO GOD
PRAY TOGETHER EVERY DAY!
“Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14 NLT
“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”Matthew 6:33 NLT